EverAfterLand

Do you have a Diastasis Recti? Signs, Symptoms, and How to Check for Abdominal Separation

I was thinking that those first two posts may have caused a lot of people to question their own Jelly Bellies.  I figured it would behoove everyone to let you know how you, too, can check yourself for diastasis recti, in the comfort of your own home!

First off, I feel compelled to let ya'll know that diastasis is not just a problem with post-partum women.  Men can also develop a diastasis.  Even children.  What we so quaintly refer to as a "Beer Belly" in our husbands, dads or grandads may actually be a separation of the abdominal wall. 

What I have learned in all these years of trying to understand what had happened to my body, is that diastasis recti is caused by "forward, forceful pressure," as my physical therapist, Kelly Dean, would say.  This could happen from gaining too much weight.  Or performing pilates or yoga or endless crunches without properly holding in the transverse abdominus.  When you slouch, and see your belly pooch out in front of you, that is causing "forward, forceful pressure."  From what I understand, nobody has an answer as to why some people can develop a diastasis from all that repeated forward, forceful pressure, while others remain perfectly fine.  Although, I do feel that my diastasis might have been averted if I had exercised more consistently (with the proper exercises, of course) before, during and after my pregnancies.  However, I have seen many stories of women who were very fit and health-conscious - triathletes, even - who still developed a more severe diastasis than what I have.  It seems some of us are more genetically predisposed to it and others are not.

And I am part of that lucky bunch.  Yipeeeeeee.

As I explained in a previous post, there are a lot of different muscles all crisscrossed around the midsection.  It takes a lot of work to hold all those organs in!  The "six-pack" muscles are the rectus abdominus, and they are the two long muscles that lay side-by-side, stretching from your ribs down to your pelvis.  But something has to hold these two muscles together.  The linea alba is a line of tissue in between the two rectus abdominus muscles.  Underneath that are the obliques on your sides that allow the torso to twist.  And underneath everything is the transverse abdominus, a corset of muscle that wraps all the way around your midsection. 

It is common knowledge that during pregnancy, everything gets stretched out. 

Everything.

(And if you have never been pregnant, now is probably the time to stop reading this post.  I don't want to scare anyone.  Come back here after you get yourself knocked-up someday, then we'll talk!)

I believe that few women really think about what exactly is being stretched.   There is a combination of two things happening that results in a diastasis and/or jelly belly.  First off, the linea alba is stretched.  This is tissue, not elastic.  Imagine stretching out a ball of playdoh.  When you push the two sides close together again, the playdoh does not reabsorb into itself.  Rather, that stretched out part in the middle folds in half and hangs there, much like the linea alba.  For many women, after months or years, the tissue will eventually reabsorb, if the two sides of the rectus abdominus are kept close together for long enough.  For others, and for a myriad of reasons, it doesn't. 

Now add in the fact that your transverse muscle has also been stretched.  Yes, the muscle can regain its strength, which will help it shrink back down to a normal size.  But the transverse is a difficult muscle to work.  And for many, because it has been through so much trauma, there is a disconnect with that muscle altogether.  So even though you are taking Zumba or Kickboxing or CrossFit classes four days a week, your transverse is never really engaging because it sorta forgot how.

If the transverse is unable to regain strength and shrink back down, add to that all of your resulting bad postures which is repeatedly pushing your stomach out further multiple times a day, then that linea alba tissue never has a chance to be held closer together to allow for reabsorption.

Hence, a diastasis.

But enough about all this physiology crap, you wanna know whether or not you have a diastasis!  Here is a video that explains exactly how, featuring the same Kelly Dean I had mentioned earlier...

How to check Yourself for Diastasis from fit2b.us on Vimeo.

Kelly Dean is a physical therapist with an online course that helps you to strengthen your core and put you on the path to healing.  After years of trying different methods, this 8-week course has been the most effective for me.  But that is another story for another post!  I've had several readers ask me what I have been doing for my diastasis lately, so I wanted to quickly include that information here.  To check out the program, click on The Tummy Team link below. 

 OK, enough talk.  Now get on the floor and check that core!!!

And be sure to email or leave a comment if you have any questions.

(Please note, The Tummy Team link is an affiliate link, which means I have a chance to earn a couple of bucks if you choose to make a purchase.   This does not change my opinions about the program, and I look forward to sharing what that journey was like with you!)

A Squishy Mound Of Goo - A Diastasis Recti Story, Part 2

"Ohmygosh," I remarked to my husband, "it feels like just a hole.  There's nothing underneath."

I was laying on the carpet in a semi-crunch position, checking my diastasis recti a few months after delivering Baby #2.

The gap was wider than I had expected it to be.  Three fingers wide, which, now that I know I had been using the incorrect form (shoulders should stay on the ground) the gap was probably more like a four.  Not only did my stomach feel like a mushy mound of goo, I was horrified at the feeling of nothingness that existed inside that gap.  It felt like a bottomless chasm. 

What I later learned is that there's tissue that connects the two sides of the rectus abdominals (the upper layer of muscle or your "six-pack") right down the center called the linea alba.  As you can imagine, during pregnancy that tissue, along with the transverse abdominus, stretch to the max to make room for the little miracle setting up camp there.  That tissue, unfortunately, is not elastic.  So once it is stretched out, it can take time to return to a semblance of normal.  For many women with a diastasis recti and weakened transverse, that tissue never has a chance to rebuild.

In that moment, laying on the floor, it just felt weird.  Really, really weird.

Having given up on the Tupler Method book, subsequent Amazon searches helped me to find a new book.  Exercise After Pregnancy: How to Look and Feel Your Best, by Helene Byrne, was the book that made me feel confident that I could finally be diastasis-free!

The book starts off an easy-to-understand explanation of the anatomy of your abdominals - without scaring the snot out of you (like that other book). 

Then come three sets of exercises, starting with a sequence for beginners, then becoming progressively more difficult as strength improves.  The explanations for each exercise are a bit lengthy, but each move is accompanied with a series of photographs to help illustrate what you are supposed to do.

Of course, now I know that many of the exercises described in the book do not actually work your transverse in the best way.  Positions that instruct you to be on the floor on all fours, or want you to lay on your side or back are not the most beneficial for a weakened core.  I don't believe the moves would make a diastasis worse, but they're not necessarily making it any better.

I was oblivious to that information, though, all those three-odd years ago.  I used that book every other day, religiously, for months.  Eventually, I checked my diastasis again and, to my great relief, could easily feel the linea alba tissue underneath my fingertips.  I no longer had a bottomless chasm.

But I did still have a diastasis.  And it was hanging in there at around three fingers wide. 

The problem I had with the book was that I was unsure about when it was time to advance to the next level.  I didn't necessarily feel strong enough to move from beginner to intermediate, but after a month or so of the same exercises, it seemed like I should be moving on to something.

More importantly my tummy did not feel much firmer after months of half-hour core work every other day.

My search continued.....

The Space Between - Part 1, Discovering Diastasis Recti

"Stay on your back, and lift up your shoulders."

Um, OK, I thought, fumbling to accomplish the MidWife's request.

About to pop!

It was the end of 2006, and this was my 6-week Post-Partum Check-up after birthing our first baby, Miss Priss.  Weight and blood pressure and stitches were analyzed.  So far, everything was looking good!  And I had no idea what the heck this woman was doing, asking me to hang out in a half-situp and then poking her fingers in the squishy mound of belly hiding (not very well) under my shirt.

"Alright, your abdominal muscles are still separated," she informed me, "put your fingers here...can you feel that?"

I could feel that.  But I had no idea of the magnitude of what I was feeling.

"You'll want to keep an eye on that, in case it doesn't close."

I was tired.  Too sleep-deprived and rapidly engorging to care.  I needed to get home.  I needed to feed the baby.  And then I'd be putting her down for (what I hoped and prayed to be) a longer-than-twenty-minutes nap.  If my midwife had mentioned the words "Diastasis Recti," I didn't hear her.  And she knew we would be moving in another few weeks.  Watch it for what?  And what was I supposed to do about it, I was going to be living in a different part of the country?

It was a good long while before I had the energy to determine what was going on with my midsection.  By then, I had tried to return to my pre-baby shape through conventional modes of exercises.  Weight lifting, pilates, cardio machines, dance.  What I discovered was that I had lost a lot of my strength, not only in my abdominals, but over my entire body.  And "consistency," to me, was just a word in the dictionary.  I had a starving, rambunctious, barely napping baby, and she was my priority.  Exercise, in my mind, is just more work.  It's not the "Me Time" that so many fitness gurus keep advocating for new mommies to carve out for themselves.  I am simply not built that way.  If I had space for "Me Time," it was going to be spent either knitting or napping.  (Certainly NOT cleaning the house.  That would be nuts!)

First Day Home

I don't quite remember how I discovered the details of my condition.  I know I was frustrated.  It was 2008, over a year since popping out my princess, and my stomach was still pooching out.  Losing weight did not work.  I was skinnier all over, but I still had the waistline of someone 3 months pregnant, but with a big difference.  Instead of a wonderfully pregnant belly building new life, my abdominals felt weak and jiggly, with very little muscle tone. Mostly, though, I was depressed about how my body looked, the clothes I had to wear to hide my bulge, and the lack of function I had. 

Wanting desperately to find a fitness program that could whip me back into shape, I searched Amazon one night for workout books or videos that would be a good starting point for someone as out of shape as myself.  Through whatever word-search I had used (and the miracle of the internet) I landed on a book called Lose Your Mummy Tummy, by Julie Tupler**.  The description of the book listed the cause of a "mummy tummy" as the separation of the abdominal wall and gave it a name - Diastasis Recti. 

I zoomed to Julie Tupler's website and watched a video on how to check yourself for diastasis.  Following those directions (the same as the ones my midwife had instructed me) and pushing my fingers into my gut, I found that I had a 2 finger separation at my belly button.  I have recently learned to check for diastasis without lifting your shoulders off the floor (a move that causes the separation to close a bit, creating an inaccurate reading) so most likely, my separation was actually closer to a 3-finger width.

Finally, I knew what the problem was - and I had a name for it.  It was a relief to have an understanding of what had happened to my body.  I googled "diastasis recti," greedily searching for more information on how to correct this condition.

But there wasn't any.

Exhausted

The websites I found that would mention it were medical sites giving nothing more than a definition.  The few that offered help, offered it in the form of surgery.  Sewing the abdominals back together, they had said (and still say to this day), was the "only" way to repair it.

A handful of YouTube videos I came across claimed to have proper exercises for diastasis that were, according to what I had learned from the Tupler website, completely wrong.  Anyone with a separation should never perform crunches, oblique twists or planks.  One video in particular was a homemade recording of a young woman lying on her back, arms stretched out to either side, her legs straight up in the air, twisting her torso and swinging both outstretched legs to touch the floor on one side of her, raising them back up, then dropping them to the other side.

How could I possibly be strong enough to even DO that? I pondered.

I ordered the Mummy Tummy book from Amazon and then a corresponding video and splint (or belly wrap) from Tupler's website.  I wanted this separation gone.  And I was positive I had found the program that would magically heal everything.

The book arrived first, and I read it voraciously.  The book went into more detail about the anatomy of your abdominals, explaining that there are three main types.  The Rectus Abdominus (aka: the "six-pack muscles") on the top, Internal and External Obliques on the sides, and then, inside everything, the Transverse Abdominus (TA).  The Transverse is what holds all of those other abdominals into proper position, and the thing that Pilates instructors everywhere are referring to when they bark at you to "hold in your core."  Pregnancy stretches out this muscle, and, for too many women, leaves behind a diastasis recti when the muscle doesn't recover post-pregnancy.

Ooooh!  Okay!

Two Months After Baby

I zoomed through the ins and outs of what my diastasis is, where it came from, how NOT to make it worse, and an unsettling drawing of a paper bag, broken on the bottom with a uterus falling out.  This dire warning of what would happen to your organs if your pelvic floor continued to weaken was enough to make me attempt a few kegels right on the spot.

Finally, I arrived at the exercises, the basis of her Tupler Technique.  They seemed pretty simple.  First were the Elevators.  Sitting in a chair or on the floor against the couch, bring your belly button in slowly toward your spine, activating that TA muscle, hold for 30 seconds, then slowly let out.  Do ten sets every day.

10 sets?  Every day??  OK, I think I can make that work.  I sometimes can't even pull it together enough to shower, but these little sets seem doable.

The next exercises were the Contractions.  In that same seated position, bring your belly button back to your spine, and then release.  Repeat 100 times.

Wait, one HUNDRED times?

Five times a day.

FIVE TIMES A DAY!!!!

"Once you master the Seated Tupler Technique, you can continue to do the ... contractions until your child is eighteen years old!  You can also increase the number of exercises to ten sets of 100 per day.  I know it sounds like a lot, but if you do three sets of 100 in the morning (this should take ten minutes), four sets of 100 before lunch (thirteen minutes), and three sets of 100 in the evening (another ten minutes), it makes it easier to do ten sets per day.  That's not a lot of time when you realize that you are not only repairing your body but flattening that mummy tummy!"

OK, Crazy Lady.  I couldn't even manage to use the bathroom for three minutes without a little person crawling all over me, but sure, I'll set myself down and do a THOUSAND of these little pulses for the REST of my LIFE!  That sounds SUPER FUN!!! 

Still sporting a belly - over a year and a half later.

But the book was fraught with other problems, as well.  There were many other exercises listed, from stretches, to multiple sets of kegels, to 15 and 30 minute workout routines.  And she seemed to insist that everything was vitally important to the resuscitation of my core, and, therefore, must be done every. single. day.  I couldn't figure out what was most important to do, or in what order to do them, or if I needed to start with one thing and then progress to another. 

The video came and proved to be even more useless than the book.  The workout was painfully slow and not at all energizing or something that you ever had a desire to watch again, let alone use.  It was like having Fran Drescher instructing you on how to breath and keep your back straight.  The "workout" didn't feel like it was working anything at all, and even had pregnant women performing the exercises, they were so gentle and mind-numbing.

But the best part - really, the absolute BEST PART - was the inclusion of some sort of stage performance that looked like it had been written by, directed by and starred Julie Tupler.  It featured actors dressed in costume as many of your favorite bodily organs.  Including a vagina. 

They sang.

They danced.

I forced Hubby to sit down and watch the whole thing with me.  It was horrifying, yet oddly mesmerizing. 

And when it was all over, that DVD returned to its case, never to be heard from again.

I felt overwhelmed by the strict exercise regimen in the book, underwhelmed by the workouts on the video, and extremely confused by what a Dancing Vagina had to do with any of it.

Although I never followed any of the workouts to the letter, the Lose Your Mummy Tummy book still played a pivotal role on this Journey of Diastasis Recovery.  This was the first time I began to learn about the functioning roles of my abdominal muscles (didn't even realize there were so many!) and the importance of proper form.  From then on, I was always careful to hold that transverse abdominal in whenever I coughed, sneezed or blew my nose.  And I would try to do those "contractions" once in a while when I was driving in the car.

It was a start. 

I had gained the tools to (hopefully) refrain from making my diastasis any worse.  But I knew, somewhere out there, there had to be a better way to close the separation.

And I was hoping to figure it out soon.  Because Baby #2 was on her way!

 

**Although this post doubled as a book review of Lose Your Mummy Tummy, by Julie Tuppler, I did not include a link to the Amazon listing.  It is still for sale on Amazon, but the author has changed her program, no longer using several of the exercises she had originally prescribed.  I do not own anything from her new program, which can be found on her website, but if I ever do, I will be sure to post about it here at EverAfterLand. 

A Right Of Passage

I had been noticing the signs for a few weeks now.

First, she was showing interest in it.

Then she was wanting some of her own.

Before I knew it, she was wielding the appliance like a pro.

When she crossed over that final hurdle, I knew, like the wise master so tuned into her student...

She.

Was.

Ready.

That's right, ladies, another neophyte has made that first step towards womanhood.

Miss Priss is now the proud owner of her very own tube of LIPGLOSS!

Hang on a sec.  I'm getting a little teary.  OK, <sniff> I'm alright now.

So what if she still has bad aim.  She's able to screw the top on and off like a pro and land the product somewhere on her face.  Which was why, while in Fresno yesterday, we made a pit stop at an ultra frilly, hot pink bedazzled shop aimed at just such a little princess, and picked up that very first tube of lip glossy goodness.

It's clear.

With a little glitter thrown in for pizazz.

And, honestly, I thought it would taste better.

Here is the first of about fifteen applications that were applied yesterday afternoon.

Check out that technique!  Obviously a natural!


Maybe she's born with it...

Maybe it's her awesome bejeweled lipgloss tube!

PS - That mustache of shine is where the lipgloss landed.  Apparently, I've been applying mine incorrectly all these years!

PPS - I don't know why her eyes look so green in that last shot.  OK, maybe I do know, and it has to do with my kick ass photoshoppin' skillz!  But please note, grandmas, they did NOT suddenly turn green!

PPPS - Is 2 1/2 really too young for lipgloss?  I just wanted her to stop using mine, but maybe I'm inadvertantly leading her down a path of whoreishness.  Oh well, apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?

A Fuzzy Feeling

Not the good kind of fuzzy feeling, either.

It's my teeth, folks.  My fuzzy, furry TEETH.

But I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me start off with the fact that we are not at home.  I am typing this post from a base known as Pt. Mugu located in Ventura County just North of Los Angeles. 

This is very happy news!  For the next two days we have returned to CIVILIZATION!!!!

I'm not sure I can handle it.  I think I'm out of practice.

But there's a bigger problem here.  A problem that is quietly resting on our bed back home.  A heaping pile of face wash, body soap, moisturizers, brushes and make-up hidden inside a traveling case.

Yes, folks, my dear husband has left my toiletry bag - the very essence of being civilized - back at the house.

Normally I would be mad.  "How could you!," I would have exclaimed. 

But let's keep things in perspective.  It is only TWO DAYS.

And I can certainly pick up a toothbrush and toothpaste at the store.

What's that?  We're taking our family photo for the Christmas card while we're here and you're wondering if I will be doing it au naturale?

Oh!  Haha!  Good thing there's a Sephora RIGHT UP THE STREET!!!!!

That's right, ladies (and my horrified husband - Hi Honey!), Momma's headin' over to her dealer to get herself a FIX!  And it's gonna be SOOOOO GOOD!!!! 

Oh, hubby, I love you MORE THEN EVER!!!

P.S. - Don't forget to head over to The Posh Parent and check out my post, The Meltdown, for this week.  You can see what (or who!) I wanted to be when I grew up!

Look at all the SPARKLES on this thing!

Apparently, there really is such a thing as the "power of positive thinking."

Yesterday I told all of you how much I felt like a winner, despite being a loser, and how I'd wear my tiara around the house just to prove it.

The funny part of that -- I really did wear a crown around my house all day!  It wasn't intentional.  (At least that's what I tell myself.)  I needed a headband, and Miss Priss' headband with the little crown on top was lying within reach.  I spent the rest of the day with it on, and completely forgot about it till Sissy came by and was all "why is there a crown on your head?"  And I was all, "Jealous, biotch?"  And she was all, "No, but it makes you look fat, biotch."  See, totally jealous.

Can't you feel the glow of sisterly love?

Anywhoo, I didn't find out until later in the day that I was awarded with a crown ALL MY OWN!!!  Now introducing.....<trumpets, please>

"Sheeee's Miss Americaaaaaaa.  None caaan coooompare!"

I have spent today with said crown atop my head, cradling the now-dead flowers hubby sent me for my birthday and practicing The Wave (hand, hand, elbow, elbow). 

It's a little too hot for the gown right now.  I'll save that for tonight.

I am really so very shocked and awed that the lovely ladies of MomDot bestowed this award on me.  All I can say is a very heartfelt "thank you."  And blink the tears back into my eyes.

And thanks also to all the friends out there who have sent congratulating comments my way.  I appreciate them all!

OK, I'm ready for your red-lipsticked kisses now!

Happy to be a Loser

It has been announced that Jen at Posh Point of View is the new Homecoming Queen of the Mommy Blogging World!

Let's give her a round of applause!

And, as all beauty queen rivals do, a big, fat, red-lipsticked kiss right in the middle of her forehead!!!

I always love it when they do that.  It's the ultimate "you may have won, and I'm going to act like I like you, but really I'm just trying to make you uglier on national television!"  Oh, those crazy biotches!

Anyway, as Second Runner-Up, I'd like to thank all of you for playing along with our "frienemies" cat-fight.  Jen and I really had a terrific time trying to one-up each other, and I learned lots of new things to do with PhotoShop Elements!  Really, guys, I was amazed that I was even nominated, and I knew Jen would be the winner.  I never would have received the number of votes I did without her.  She was so nice to play-fight with me, she really didn't have to!

And apparently, I'm so good at the snarkiness, Jen has asked me to be a contributor on The Posh Parent! 

Hmmm, perhaps Jen is, as the saying goes, "keeping her friends close, and her frienemies closer?"

My articles will be an attempt to go all David Spade on the celebrities in a weekly synopsis called "The Meltdown."  Today is my very first article, please head over there and check it out!  And while you're at it, join the club!

Now, for the final tally of votes and my Nie Recovery Fund donation - the last I saw, I had 27.  Subtract 24 (the number of previous votes), then add 1 for Jiggety Jigg at least THINKING about blogging for me (check her out, she's wicked cool!), and you get......

Seriously, what do you take me for?  This is a DONATION to a REAL-LIFE FAMILY, for crimeny sakes!  As a thank-you to EVERYBODY that took time out of their busy lives to vote, and because I have the right to change all the rules if I want to (it is MY blog), I'm going to use the WINNERS rules.  Because, really, I feel like I've won!  I think I'll even wear my tiara today and ACT like I've won! 

Anyway, let me get my calculator......carry the two.....multiply by....OK!  I really only like numbers in multiples of five (I know, I'm weird) so let's round this puppy up to $45!  That's awesome, guys!  Kudos to you!  And if you'd like to send your own donation, please click here.

Thanks again, ya'll!  Big, fat, red-lipsticked kisses to all of you!!!

Pretty sweet animation, isn't it?  That would be courtesy of my friend Bill.  You can check some more animation at his hilarious blog I Animate You, or order up some you're own here!

Other People's Money

On Saturday I switched gears in the race for Homecoming Queen and offered to buy your vote for the Nie Recovery Fund.

This morning, I timidly visited the MomDot site to see how much I'd be in the hole for.

The results were, there's no other way I can put it, AMAZING!

Wanna know what that incredible amount is?  The amount of votes that I am now indebted for?

That would be ONE WHOLE DOLLAR!!!

Do you think they take checks?

COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!  Holy gee whiz and goodness gracious!  I can't believe I was even worried about this! 

I cannot BELIEVE I am reduced to begging YOU to spend MY MONEY!!! 

Here are the rules, one more time:

• On Saturday morning I had 24 votes.  Every vote I receive today (today's the last day for voting) equals $1 for the Nie Recovery Fund. 
• If the final tally puts me in second place, I will add in the 24 votes from before - that means an extra $24 for the Nielsons. 
• If I WIN I will increase the whole pot by 50%.
• For those that have already voted, but would still like to help, just post a message on your blog requesting readers to vote for me, and leave a comment back here saying you had done so.  That will add $1 more to the pot.

Alright, ya'll, the ball is back in your court.  Let's see what kind of damage you can do!  Vote HERE.

Laying Down Arms

My fave girl Jen over at Posh Point of View posted a very good likeness of me here.  I'm talking about the "After" picture, not the "Before."

Should I tell you all that the photo STILL turned my hubby on?  Throw a man at sea for six months, and cleavage in ANY package will do it for him!

The beautiful and sassy Jen also copped to being a G.R.I.T.S.  That's Girl Raised In The South.

Oh, how my mind whirled with the possibilities of THAT one! 

I thought of showing a photo like this and declaring it Jen's Posh Pad...

I even had thoughts of PhotoShopping something like this, and declaring it the REAL couple at home....

But Renee at Cutie Booty Cakes has been trying all week to get us bloggers to recognize International Peace Day, happening on Sept. 21st.  This being Sept. 20th, I decided to lay down my arms, er, shut down PhotoShop, and exude peace, love, and harmony to my opponent.

Well, and then there's the fact that I'm still in THIRD PLACE so my current ploy of ruthless "Mean Girls" attacks is not working!

Really, I blame all of you.

Regardless, I am switching gears.  I will BUY your votes!

Many of you are aware of the Nielson family and the recent plane crash that has put parents-of-four Stephanie and Christian Nielson in critical condition in a burn center.  You can read more about them here.

In an effort to assist this family with their mounting hospital bills and care of their children, I am pledging $1 for each vote I receive between now and the end of the competition on Sept. 22nd.  I currently have 24 votes.  If I am declared the second place winner, I will add the current # of votes into the tally.  If I WIN, I will increase the pot by 50%!  No worries if you've already voted, you can still contribute!  Just post a message on your blog asking readers to VOTE FOR ME, leave a comment here, and I'll add another $1 in. 

If the backstabbing won't get me the crown, perhaps some philanthropy will!

Happy Peace Day, ya'll!

Disclaimer:  I hate to do this, but knowing that there are freaks out there who live for this kind of stuff, I have to add that if the votes look like they've been rigged (ie: I win by 15,000) I will have the right to give whatever amount I see fit.  I think you can all understand, I have to draw the line at mortgaging my house!

PhotoStory Friday - A Vision of Loveliness

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Have I told you guys lately how much I LOVE my BFF Jen at Posh Point of View?  We are both up for Homecoming Queen in the MomDot Dottie Awards, and she has been so sweet and nice about the whole thing.  Check out the GREAT figure she gave me yesterday!

I can only dream of looking like that!

Since it's PhotoStory Friday, and since SHE started it with the photoshopping, I thought I'd show all you voters out there just what your future Homecoming Queen will look like. 

First, here's a picture of me and hubby at my birthday party a year ago.  Wouldn't he make a handsome Homecoming King?  Wouldn't you love to see us slow dancing under a spotlight, me in taffeta with an enormous corsage on my bosom, he in a tux with tails, trying to keep his hands off my ass...

And then there's Jen.  She's so pretty.  So perfect.  She'd really look lovely in that crown!  Let's just take a look-see....

Oh, well, yeah.  "Isn't she loooovely?  Isn't she woooonderful?"  I'm pretty sure Stevie was NOT referring to this Queen!

And now it's up to you America!  Decide who would make the BEST LOOKING Queen (hint:  pretty sure it's ME!) and vote HERE!!!