Happily-Ever-After-Land

Jumping Ship (But Just For Today)

So the other day, Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy (who is an enormously popular blogger, by the way) sent lil' ol' me a message just BEGGING me to write a guest post for her.

"I'm leaving for a week," she cried, " and I know YOU, what with your beauty and coolness and amazing writing abilities, are the ONLY person who could keep my THRONGS of readers entertained!" *

"Well, I don't know," I replied, "I am pretty busy..."

"Oh, PLEASE!!!  I just don't know WHAT I'll do!!!!"  **

So I agreed.  Because I can't stand the thought of making somebody cry.

The post is up, so please head on over and check it out.  And check Jen out while you're there.  She's not this popular for nuthin'!

*  I MAY have stretched the truth just a skosh.  I was paraphrasing the actual conversation a bit.

**  OK, so MAYBE Jen sent out a general message to about a thousand of her followers on Twitter asking if anybody was interested in writing a guest post.  And MAYBE I jumped on that as fast as my fingers could fly.  And MAYBE I was the one begging and crying for her to please, please, PLEASE let me do a post for her.  But, honestly, I don't see what kind of difference that makes.

Soooo, Are We Officially “Friends” Now?

There are certain hurdles that must be crossed in the beginnings of every friendship.

You eye each other from across the room at playgroup.

You strike up a conversation and, over time, learn more about each other.

There's the obligatory small talk, starting with "where are you from," going all the way to "what do you do?"

As time goes on, during these twice a week playgroup sessions, you open up more about your families, your fears, your aspirations.

At some point, you may even be called up on stage together by a children's singer to act as back-up dancers during a song about underwater sea life.

(Just as an example, I mean, not saying that's what happened yesterday morning or anything.)

And after months of conversing, laughing at your kids in playgroup, and back-up dancing for a group of 50 kids and their parents, you find that your friendship cannot move forward until you've cleared the air about one small thing. Which you try delicately to do, while lunching at Taco Bell.

Me: Alright, I don't want you to think less of me…

Her: Huh?

Me: And I don't want to insult you…

Her: What?

Me: But there's just something I've got to ask…

Her: Ohmygod, what is it?

Me: What is your… name???

It's Chelsea, by the way.

And Chelsea has now learned that her month's-old friend's name is Jen.

I'm Baaaack! (For Realz This Time) [at least I think]

Several weeks ago, I very excitedly posted about my awesome hubby and the coolest gift ever, which was my lil' laptop (I've named her Harriet, by the way, cause I'm weird like that).  And I declared that I would finally be able to post a couple times a week until we were able to return home.

Well, I lied.  I didn't mean to, but a lie is a lie nonetheless, right?

And sure, I could play the "my-dad-is-sick-and-I'm-hugely-pregnant-while-trying-to-care-for-a-two-year-old" excuse.  But that's a pretty lame excuse and I don't want to insult all your intelligences by using it.

So I will just apologize and assure you that I will try not to let this happen ever, ever again.

Forgive me yet? 

How 'bout now?

Well, anyway, as you can imagine, it has been wonderful being home again! And Miss Priss agrees.  She made short work of pulling out every toy she owns, making our living room look like there was a volcanic explosion of Toys 'R Us.  And we let her.  Cause I owed it to her for making her entertain herself with about five toys and a coloring book for the last two months.  No crayons, mind you, just the color book.

OK, that last part might have been a wee bit of an exaggeration.  She really only had three toys.

Thankfully, Cacaville has been kind to us.  The smell around here has been minimal since our return, allowing us to acclimate ourselves once again.  We've hit summer hard-core, which means temps in the 90's.  But since it's desert, it's dry heat.  A little more manageable than the Virginia humidity, but remembering to drink enough water is a bit of a challenge.  Of course, my body likes to give me friendly reminders like, oh, drying out my throat so I feel like I'll choke to death with every breath.  Nice.

So there you have it.  Happily-Ever-After-Land is returning to normal and all is right in the world again.

Or at least it will be.

Once I finally get through the two inches of dust blanketing everything.

My Man Is The Most Fantastic Frickin' Husband In The Whole Universe! (Subtitle: P.S. - I'm Not Dead.)

You five or six regular readers here at Happily-Ever-After-Land may have noticed my sudden and inexplicable dissappearance from the Blogosphere. You may have even found yourself, on a late sleepless night, wondering, "whatever happened to blogger chic?  She was weird, but mildly amusing."  Well, allow me to fill in the blanks...

As you may recall from a previous post, my dad has been ill. Fortunately, Sissy was here to take care of him, but she couldn't stay forever, so Miss Priss and I hopped on a plane and flew out here to help with the recuperation. It was supposed to be a month's trip, but Dad's illness had other plans, and I thought it would be best to stick around for another month and make sure everything gets situated.

Now, none of that would be so bad, if it weren't for the fact that my dad has zero internet access. Ack!  How can anybody live like this???

I tell you, it's like an inhumane form of torture, that's what it is.

And my Hubby, yes THE Hubby that you all know and love, decided to save me from this sad, horrible fate by sending to me, straight from the coffers of Amazon.com, a new little tiny mini laptop computer thingy that is sooooo adorable and who I have named Harriet.  I love her.  I mean, I love HIM for sending me such a perfect gift! 

Now, the one thing he couldn't send me was some internet access, but I managed to solve that problem upon the discovery that Schlotsky's Deli has free wifi, which allows me to sit in the comforts of my car, typing away on Little Harriet, looking like a terrorist (or at least slightly sinister).

So there you have it!  I should be able to get up a few posts a week from here on out so ya'll don't have to worry about me.  And a special thank you to those who started donation drives in my loving memory.  (As for the donations, I'll still be happy to accept them, just send them to Jennifer c/o Happily-Ever-After-Land.)

Ahhh!  It's good to be back!

Now Making Her WebTV Debut....

My gorgeous sister!

Yes, Sissy was tapped for her beauty AND brains to give parenting tips to all the rest of you schmucks.

What makes HER so qualified?, I can already hear you shrilly exclaiming.

Well, as a matter of fact, Sissy has a Masters Degree in Social Work from Tulane, THAT'S what. 

(Not only do I enjoy boasting about how awesome my sister is, I also like to add that I was the one who got her into Tulane in the first place.  It was MY amazing editing skills on her admissions essay that cinched the deal.  Although nobody's ever TOLD us that, but, you know, I'm SURE that's how it went down.)

Oh, and she's worked with kids and parents for years, blah, blah, blah.  (I can't take credit for that one, so it's not really worth mentioning.)

And now I present to you, courtesy of qctimes.tv, the most glamorous Social Worker ever in the history of social work, my Sister!

(She's the first one talking, the hot, young babe.  Not those old biddies they wasted screen time on in the last half of the clip!)

The Terrible Thing About Two

We are at 2 years and 3 months old with Miss Priss, and so far so good.

It's been pretty nice, actually.  Although she still prefers to play with us, she'll happily occupy herself if we are unavailable.  She's big enough to do many things herself (like put her dish in the sink or climb up onto a chair), but not too to big curl up on your lap with a book or play horsie.  She has just started thinking for herself, and will tell us so, with her own adorable comments ("Come play tea pah-ty!" she just demanded) but is not so vocal as to go on and on and on in those endless diatribes that 5 and 6 year olds are known for.

But there is one thing that I really miss about Priss's younger year.... Morning Bed Time.

Once upon a time, when we heard our little cuddle-bug awake in the morning, one of us would, in a half-comatose state, go retrieve the little youngster and toss her in bed with us.  On the rare occasion, she would actually go back to sleep.  More commonly, she'd lay there perfectly still, lulling us into a false sense of sleepiness, before springing up and jumping all around the bed.  Either way, she enjoyed being with us on those occasional mornings that she was welcomed to hang with Mommy and Daddy.

But that was my adorable one year old.  Now we are the proud owners of a precocious two year old.  And she doesn't want to hang with Mommy and Daddy anymore.  She's got two things that she treasures more than bedtime with us. 

Milk and Cartoons.

Or, rather, Cah-tooons!

Still, we try to relive those Grand Old Days.  Hubster will grab our bouncing little Tigger-wannabe and gently lay her in bed next to me before climbing back under the covers himself.  No dice.

"Get.  Up.  Mommy!"

"No.  Go to sleep."

"Milk!  Cah-tooons!!!"

"Come on.  Lay down for just a minute."

"Caaaaah-toohoohooohhhns!"

And before I can even try to reason with her, she's off the bed and out the door.

I know, I know, she'll one day relish hanging out in bed with us again. 

But by then she'll be OLD.  You know, five or six.  She'll be cute and cuddly in new, five and six-year-old ways, but not the way she is now.  At two years and three months.  A little angel who thinks "helping mommy" is the coolest thing in the world and will come running up to her Daddy with a toy cake, proclaiming "Happy Birthday!" just about every day.

<sigh>  But I'm sure five and six are cute, too.

Because The Universe Hates My Blog, That's Why.

If you haven't noticed, we at Happily-Ever-After-Land have been a little absent from the bloggy world lately. 

I swear, it wasn't me. 

OK, maybe it was me a little bitty bit. 

Well, first off, the in-laws were in town for a week.  And as with any addiction, the last thing you want to do is let outsiders SEE just how addicted you are.  So I stayed away from the computer, you know, to show how much I do NOT have a problem. 

Because if you can have a computer on in your home and not be glued to it, then you're not an addict, right?

Then we took off for four days in Monterey, California (which is gorgeous, by the way).  Hubster made sure he had the laptop packed.  Maybe because I had reminded him, oh, five or fifty times.  I was jonesing by then, and was very hopeful that computer time would be alright whilst the wee lass took her afternoon naps and after she went to bed.  But, lo and behold, the internet at our lodgings cost MONEY.  And, apparently, The Hubs doesn't think my bloggy interests are worth $9 a day.  Couldn't argue with him about it, though, cause only an addict would argue that point, and we were still with the in-laws.

But that's OK!  Eventually we made it back home.  Except by then we had one day to get packed and ready to leave for a 10-day trip to Iowa.  Well, me and Miss Priss.  Hubbawubba gets to take a cruise off the California coastline for a couple weeks, compliments of The Navy.

So we drove down to San Diego, where our flight and his boat were taking off from.  We had a couple days before leaving, though.  "Great!" I thought, "I'll have some downtime to at LEAST get a post up so people don't think I'm dead!" And I promptly spent the morning attempting to connect the laptop to the FREE internet connection.

How many people does it take to hook up one computer to the World Wide Web?

Well, I'll tell ya, a whole lot!  Especially when the entire phone system is out on base (did I forget to mention we were staying on a base?), which is necessary for the DSL to work, and they have no idea when it will be repaired.

And this, folks, was the moment I realized that The Universe just doesn't like my blog.

Why?  I dunno.  I always thought I spoke nicely of The Universe.  Maybe I looked at it funny one day.  Maybe The Universe thought I was getting a little too big for my britches, what with my growing following of, like, 5 followers.

But The Universe couldn't stay mad at me for long!  I just batted my big brown puppy-dog eyes, squeezed out a couple tears, and got the bottom lip quivering.  (Incidentally, this is also a favored technique when trying to score the last piece of chocolate cake from The Hubster.)  We never did get the internet to work in Cali, but we're at Grandma's house now.  And we may be freezing our patookies off here in the Midwest, but at least I've got my mom's laptop to keep me warm!!!

We'll be heading back to Cali after the first of the month and back to some semblance of a normal routine.

Do you suppose my addiction has been broken, what with all this time away from my beloved computer?

I think it's going to take a lot more than a short break to reverse the brainwashing that's been done on me!

Woo Hoo! It's the Big 1-0-0!!!

Yes, folks, we here at Happily-Ever-After-Land have just turned 100!

100 Posts, that is!

I tossed and turned all weekend trying to figure out the perfect 100th Post that would properly celebrate and encapsulate, well, 100 Posts!

Unfortunately, my brain hasn't been working quite right (all this potty training can really drive a person to insanity!), so you'll have to settle for this.

The Happily-Ever-After-Land bathroom!  I figured, it's what all women LOVE to do, right?  Snoop and spy in another woman's bathroom.

So, here ya go!  Happy 100! 

And be sure to let me know what you think this little corner of my bath world says about me!

On Dasher, On Dancer....

Check out my new pic....

Now THAT is Christmas Spirit!  And all care of Linda at Short Pump Preppy!

Linda has been so kind to Photoshop Santa hats on anyone and everyone that asks and says please!

Me being me, of course, had to ask for something a little different - and can you BELIEVE she did it!!!

I thought for sure she'd be, all, "NO!  Santa hats are my specialty.  But I can make it green for you."

Nope, not a single peep!  Just an email a few hours later with THE most awesome Christmas shot EVER!!!!

A great big hearty THANK YOU to Linda (and her daughter!) for making my Christmas that much more festive!

Now, if you're wanting a hat (sorry, no more antlers are available, oh well!), simply head over to Linda's and ASK!  (I have a sneaking suspicion she's trying to get on Santa's GOOD list and needs all the help she can get.)  Just remember to say PLEASE!!!

A Christmas Affair

Thanksgiving Day:  Hey, Jen, uh, I haven't heard from you in a while.

Me:  Oh, T-Dog, sorry!  I've just been really busy!

T-Day:  Oh, really?  Busy with WHAT, exactly?

Me:  Umm, well, you know, blogging and the kid and ummm...

T-Day:  And THIS???  

Me:  What?  Those are just the new jammies I got for Priss!

T-Day:  Really??  JUST jammies, huh??  You think I don't notice the REINDEER and CHRISTMAS motif???  What'd you think I am, STUPID???

Me:  No, no, I'd never think that!  Ok, you're right.  They're the Christmas Eve jammies I got for Priss.  There.  Are you happy now?  I didn't want you to find out this way!!!

T-Day:  Well, you know, it was a little hard NOT to notice the Christmas music you've had on the radio since November 1^st...

Me:  I know!  How awesome is THAT!?!??  Can you believe there's a radio station that starts playing Christmas music on November 1^st???  It's been the one redeeming quality of living here!

T-Day:  November is MY month!  It has ALWAYS been MY month!!  Why, Jen, why???

Me:  T-Dog, I'm so sorry.  But you know we had a wicked awesome Thanksgiving celebration last year.  But I had almost no Christmas of my own.  We were on a trip, and, sure, I got a $10 mini-tree at Wal-mart so we'd have SOMETHING, but it just wasn't the same....

T-Day:  CHRISTMAS!!!  All you THINK about is that damned holiday!!!  What does HE have that I DON'T???  I have decorations too, you know!!!  But no, last week you bought ORNAMENTS for a TREE!!!

Me:  I swear, T-Dog!  It's not you.... it's me!  You know I have a fetish for shiny objects and cheesy music and green foliage!  You're too good for me, T-Dog!

T-Day:  So... if I just get a song?  If I can get Bing Crosby to sing a Thanksgiving tune, you'd learn to love me, too?

Me:  Well, Bing's been gone for a long, long time, so I don't think that would work.  If we had it to do all over again, I would have done so many things differently.  But we've grown apart, T-Dog.  And, truthfully, you DESERVE to be with someone who can truly APPRECIATE you for who you are!

T-Day:  Can we...still be friends?  Will you still come visit me once a year??

Me:  We will ALWAYS have the Macy's Parade!  Christmas will NEVER have that!