Perhaps you've lived in Fresno too long.
Or maybe the heat has finally cooked your brain.
Or are you just trying to use some sort of hypnosis on your viewers so they don't beat you to death?
Whatever the reason, I feel it is my duty to inform you that your efforts to label the 97 to 99 degree temperatures we're having for the next week as "refreshing" is not fooling anyone.
And trying to pretend like we're having a "cold spell" is just making you look like an idiot.
I don't doubt that a 99 degree temperature is, indeed, cooler than the 105 to 110 degree temps we've been struggling with. But honestly, when you live on the face of the sun, six to ten degrees here or there doesn't make much of a difference.
Especially when the sun is beating down you.
Which happens to be every. Single. Damned. Day.
I now know exactly what bacon feels like when it's frying.
The two-year-old cries every time she has to climb into her carseat.
I tried and tried to convince her that it's NOT hot - it's actually REFRESHING, but that just made her cry harder.
So, Dear Weatherman, please refrain from using the word "refreshing" until we've got temps that actually require a sweater. Or maybe capri pants. Or at least until I can come in from outdoors without sweat stains on my bra.
Otherwise, I may have to take action. And that may involve tying you to the hood of your car so you can enjoy all this REFRESHING weather first-hand.
Yours truly from the dark side of the sun,
Jen @ Happily-Ever-After-Land
