Your favorite Happily-Ever-After-Landers took an overnight trip to Yosemite National Park last week.
No, we did not see Yosemite Sam.
No, we did not see Yogi Bear (and for the record, he lives in Jellystone - Ya'll need to study up on your 'toons).
However, if you could have been a fly on the wall (or, more accurately, a mosquito on my leg), you would have overheard some Great Mommy Moments. Here are just a few…
(As Miss Priss leaned over a stone wall) "Get off that wall! If you were to fall over it, you'd go rolling down the hill, through the sticks and the grass and the rocks and the trees…and then through more sticks and grass and rocks and trees, and you won't stop until you get somewhere down there in those trees and you'll probably get eaten by a bear."
(As Miss Priss attempted to bring her "bear" – a teddy bear head attached to a blanket – to breakfast with her) "I think we need to leave bear here. If you get some of your breakfast on her, then she'll smell like food and a bear will want to eat her. And I don't think you want bear eaten by a bear!"
(As Miss Priss ran a little too far ahead on an empty path) "Stop! Wait up for me! You need to stay by me, Sweetie. You know, you're about the size of a bear appetizer. You'd be like one of those 100 Calorie Snack Packs to a bear!"
(As Miss Priss lagged a little too far behind on a busy path) "You'd better keep up with us! Otherwise some nice Canadians will think you're lost and take you home with them. And nobody wants to see you wind up a Canadian!"
(As Miss Priss sat in the backseat eating a snack) "Don't you DARE wipe your Cheeto-Hand on your dress!!!!" (And for the record, Mini Bag of Cheetos + 2 ½ year old x a long windy road = a new shade of orange on the car seat)
But the #1 quote comes courtesy of Dear Old Dad, who thought he'd help Miss Priss understand just how big the Yosemite Waterfall actually is. "Is it bigger than Mommy?" "Yes!" "Is it bigger than Daddy?" "Yeeees!" "Is it bigger than your poop?" "It's bigger than my POOP!!!" Which was what we got to hear for two whole days, every time she saw the waterfall, very conveniently located right above our hotel.
Yes, we had a wonderful family trip. It was great! How great was it, you wonder?
It was greater than my POOP!!!!
